The Brief: This meme lists peculiar character traits of a hypothetical boyfriend and then reveals that this is "not your man," but something or someone else entirely.
DEEP DIVE
The meme starts out with the line “ladies if he…” as if it is going to give women advice about relationships, but then takes an abrupt turn to something off-topic. The joke is in the format’s absurdity, as most women would likely be aware if they were dating Shrek, Julia Roberts, or an enormous steer. Usually, the list starts out with traits that could apply to someone’s boyfriend but ends with characteristics that clearly indicate “that’s not your man, that’s _____.”
ladies, if he
-doesn’t text you back
-doesn’t ask you to hangout
-always with a donkey
-constantly asks you get out of his swampthat’s not your man. that’s Shrek
— Borgore (@Borgore) November 26, 2018
Ladies, if he:
– Is slick as Gaston
– Is quick as Gaston
– Has a neck that's incredibly thick as Gaston
– Shoots like Gaston
– Makes those beauts like Gaston
– Goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
– Uses antlers in all of his decoratingHe's not your man. He's Gaston.
— Faith Moore (@FaithKMoore) November 25, 2018
Ladies, if he:
– ████████████████████
– ████████████████████
– ████████████████████
– ████████████████████
He’s not your man. He's a #FOIA response.— JPat Brown (@resentfultweet) November 26, 2018
Ladies, if he
– looks impeccable in a suit
– comes in clutch with that emotional support
– knows how to craft a compliment like it’s an art
– can build furniture without a tantrum
– knows how to build sexual tension with self controlThat’s no man, that’s a lesbian.
— Kennedy (@kcath23) November 26, 2018
Ladies, if he:
— doesn’t respond to your texts
— doesn’t comment on your pics
— is the loving mother of 3 kids
— won an Oscar in 2001
— was named People magazine’s “most beautiful woman” (5 times!!!)
He’s not your man. He’s legendary Hollywood star, Julia Roberts. pic.twitter.com/xIQGQCh2NS
— Katya (@katya_zamo) November 26, 2018
Ladies if he
-is adopted
-feels like an outsider
-is lonely
-drives a cool toy car
-is a mouseHe IS your man and he’s Stuart Little
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) November 27, 2018
This meme inspired numerous meta-memes with references to things such as Knickers, the really big cow; that they did surgery on a grape; Gritty; “don’t say it” memes; and the distracted boyfriend.
ladies, if he’s:
– big
– cowhe’s not your man he’s big cow
— cale g weissman (@caleweissman) November 28, 2018
Ladies, if he:
– doesn’t return your texts
– did surgery on a grapeHe’s not your man. He did surgery on a grape. They did surgery on a grape.
T W O T H I N G S
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) November 26, 2018
ladies if he:
-doesn’t return your messages
-can’t commit to a joke format
-don’t say it
-don’t say it
-don’t say it
-don’t say it
-[checks notes]he’s not your man, he’s: pic.twitter.com/AH1ua3AwEe
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) November 27, 2018